The most dangerous word in your company culture

Hey - it’s Tom.

Welcome to this week’s Freedom Friday edition of Ctrl+Shift, where we unpack one core psychological challenge of leadership, and leave you with a single (sometimes challenging) question to ponder.

Est. time to read: 2 minutes.

We love the idea of a work "family" - it feels loyal, close-knit, and supportive. But as you scale, this mindset can become toxic. It makes tough conversations impossible, protects under-performers, and places the burden of responsibility on the "parent" (you) instead of the individual. This edition explores why the most effective leaders build a pro sports team, not a family.

This edition explores why the most effective leaders build a professional sports team, not a family.

A note from Tom: For years, I ran my business like a family. We weren’t just loyal, we were mates. I thought that was our superpower. Then, we were acquired. Suddenly, we were accountable to a parent company that cared about one thing: hard performance targets. I had to call one of my key team members (someone I’d considered a friend for years) into my office and have a rough conversation about why his numbers weren't where they needed to be. The look on his face wasn't anger; it was confusion. The shift from me being his 'mate' to being his 'boss' was jarring for both of us. In that moment, I realised the 'family' culture wasn't kind; it was just unclear. By not setting clear expectations from day one, I had done him a disservice. A real coach would have been giving him direct feedback all along.

This is a lesson famously championed by former Netflix Chief Talent Officer Patty McCord. In her book Powerful, she explains why Netflix relentlessly pursued a "pro sports team" analogy over a "family" one.

On a professional sports team, members have immense respect and dedication to one another. They train hard, they support each other, but they are all held to the highest standard of performance to achieve a common goal: winning. A family's primary function is unconditional acceptance. A business's primary function is performance.

This shifts your role from "parent" to "coach." A coach's job is to recruit the absolute best talent, give candid and continuous feedback, design winning plays (strategies), and make the tough decisions to ensure the best players are on the field at all times.

This may sound harsh, but it is actually what your A-players crave. High-performers are not motivated by "unconditional acceptance"; they are motivated by being surrounded by other high-performers. The "family" mindset that protects under-performers is precisely what forces your best people to leave. They don't want to carry the team. They want to be on a team of stars.

For you to ponder:

If you had to build your team from scratch today to win a "championship" in two years, would you unconditionally re-hire every single person currently on your team?

Want to read more? This edition was inspired by learnings and insights from Powerful: Building a Culture of Freedom and Responsibility by Patty McCord.

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That’s it for this edition, see you next Tactical Tuesday!

Cheers,

Tom

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